takingthelight | in screaming color

It's been a work in progress.

Not the book, actually. Jamie finished that a few months ago. But back home in New York, things had happened quickly. He'd been aggressive in sending out his manuscript and he'd had a little help from an old professor, nudging his book toward the right eyes, and after Light Out of Darkness came out, it all seemed easy.

Well, not easy, maybe. There was still work involved, but the reception of his first book was incredible, and he'd be lying if he said it hadn't opened doors for him. Lots of doors. After that, it never felt like a matter of whether or not he'd get published again. He never worried it was a one-off. It was just a question of writing a good enough follow-up and editing it to the point of being ready to publish.

He's never taken his luck for granted. Hard work got him to that point, hard work and talent and faith in his abilities and his voice. He worked for it. But it was luck, too, and he knows it, and the last year has been a vivid reminder of that. Starting from scratch, having nothing to recommend him but his words, it was... okay, a little scary, but exhilarating, too. When his agent starts shopping the new manuscript around, he knows someone will pick it up eventually, but the chance to prove himself all over again is a welcome one. He loved what he had in New York, but these last few years have made him a better writer. His first efforts in Darrow will be better than Light ever was.

It's been a good afternoon already when he gets the call. He's made good headway on his latest today, really feels like he's getting somewhere. Hearing from his agent is just icing. "Shit, no kidding? Yeah, of course. Of course, I'll be — yeah, tomorrow's great. Alright, tomorrow then. Okay. Yeah, no, thank you. Okay, bye."

He's been sitting at a café today, if only because people actually seem less inclined to talk to him that way than if he sets up shop in the park. He slides his laptop into his bag, and then, too impatient for much else, he gathers the rest of his materials in his arms and heads outside, phone on top of it all. He'll have to call Cathy and tell her. It's all been in the works for a little while, sure, but things were still up in the air. It'll be great to let her know it's all down, it's settled, it's happening.

Reaching for his phone, though, he hesitates.

It's stupid. Of course she'll be happy for him. Even with everything that's happened between them, he is who he has always been, and she knows that. She knows what that means. And things have been better. She'll be happy.

Any debate over whether to call or wait is forgotten, though, in the next moment, when he realizes what his phone is resting on.

"Hey," he says, surprised, and slips the phone into his pocket so he can thumb through the worn copy of Light Out of Darkness. "How'd you get here?" It seems like such a long time since this came out. Even skimming, he catches sight of a couple turns of phrase that seemed like good ideas then and make him cringe now. Still, it's special, his first. Nothing's going to change that.

He just doesn't understand why it's here.

[ Item post. Find Jamie stopped right in the middle of the fucking sidewalk like an asshole. To be linked in June, set to mid-May. Open. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's been a weird few months for Raven with Theresa and Luke disappearing and then the bizarre situation on the beach in Cuba that she'd experienced over and over again.

Mostly she's kept throwing herself into the school and trying to find new students, but it's so much harder without Charles and his ability to search areas with his mind, finding the vulnerable.

She's lost in her own thoughts like usual of late when she spots Jamie on the sidewalk. "Hey," she says, deciding whatever errand she was running can wait. "What's up?"

There are so many possible answers to that that most of them slip Jamie's mind, and he laughs, holding up the book. "Found an old friend," he says. "It was lumped in with all my other stuff. I picked it up and... I don't know how it got here." It doesn't really matter. Copies of Light were easy to find back home. This one is the real deal, though, beaten and worn out and his, a first edition, from before it occurred to him there would even be so many reprints.

"You wrote this?" Raven asks, looking the cover over. Charles had written academic papers for school that had been published, but a novel is something else. And, well, so is Jamie. She smiles. "So this is a... welcome arrival, then?" Her own gifts from home hadn't been so much.

"Yeah," Jamie says, nodding, "this is the — this was the first one I got published." He grins, tapping his fingers against the cover. He's torn between gratitude and regret that this isn't one of the later editions with all the praise and awards mentioned on the front. It'd be silly, though, not to be proud still of his place atop the Bestsellers list for so long. "It's what started everything. Um, definitely not my best work, though, so maybe it's a good thing you can't buy it here. But in my defense, I was 23."

"Everyone's their own worst critic," Raven comments, cliché, not about to ask Jamie to read it in order to judge. Being published by twenty-three is much more than she's accomplished, but that's kind of been a continuing theme in her life. Being surrounded by more accomplished people – men, oftentimes – while her main focus on hiding has prevented her from succeeding. "I'm glad you got a good gift," she adds, smiling still. "Whoever's behind this all isn't usually so... nice about it, in my experience."

Jamie's about to tell her the news when he realizes the implication of her words, and it comes as a mix of guilty relief. He's excited about the new book, so excited, but he can't think about it now, not without considering what Cathy will say (or what she won't say, what she'll refuse to say, dripping from every note of every word that comes out instead). But distraction at Raven's expense is hardly his first pick.

"What happened?" he asks, brow furrowing. "You got something... something bad?"

"A while ago," Raven says with a shake of her head. She hasn't meant to dampen Jamie's joy, it's just something that seems to come naturally. "It's kind of a long story. But it seems like the city likes to send people what it knows will shake them up. One way or another."

"So take good care of that book," she adds, smile a little tight as she reaches across and gently touches his arm in encouragement.

Jamie's smile, though, softens at that, his head ducking into a small nod. "I will," he says, and lets out a quiet laugh. "There are about a hundred things I'd write differently in this, you know? Now that I've had time away from it. But it's still... it's still my book." God knows Cathy got tired of it years ago, but he can never shake his fondness. It's about as close as he plans on coming to having a kid.

He shakes the novel lightly. "But, hey, you know me, I love long stories."

"We'll save mine for another time," Raven suggests, pulling back her hand and looking at the book as Jamie shakes it. She wonders for a moment what it must be like, to leave a mark on the world in such a permanent way.

Of course, she's apparently left her mark on a number of worlds and times, just not in ways she ever quite imagined. Or even wanted. "Am I allowed to ask what it's about?"

"It's about..." Jamie laughs. "Me being 23 and thinking I understood relationships." Before Cathy, he wasn't exactly having the best luck with women. There were plenty of them, but it's not like those relationships ended well. He'd thought himself a lot more experienced than maybe he was, though the reviews called the work mature. Maybe they just meant for a kid who dropped out of Columbia on a hunch, too optimistic about everything.

He still remembers the pitch they sent to Random House, the one that made Elise open that manuscript and call.

Not that he wants to think about Elise.

"It's, uh... I guess you could say a coming of age story about people growing past each other. You know, it's... friendships, romances... And even when they end, they've changed you. Forever. And how you can grow up with someone, and just knowing them that well conceals all the ways you don't know them at all." He huffs out a laugh. "I promise, it's not as depressing as that might sound."

"No, it sounds..." Raven pauses, thinking about growing up with Charles and how they'd been all each other had for the longest time, how if she had something to tell, he'd be the someone she'd tell. And how they'd still been so different, how they'd grown apart because he wanted her to hide who she was, to pretend, in spite of being the first person who she felt she could be herself with. "Real."

Jamie lets out an exhale, nodding. "That was the goal," he says. "Like I said, I think I could've done a couple parts better, but, I mean, I've been told it's pretty good. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what Darrow thinks of my work."

He thinks briefly about revamping Light, touching it up, though he learned a long time back that he has to know when to let go. But maybe with a few edits, a couple of the clunkier phrases taken out, it could be better still, and there'd be no reason he couldn't bring that to his new publisher, too, something to put out while he works on the next one.

"You're publishing this here?" Raven asks, raising her brow. She'll be among the first to buy a copy if that's the case, in part just because Jamie's a friend but also because she really is curious to read it despite taking care not to ask now.

She's never been a writer but she's read enough to know the insight it can be to the soul, and she can't help but be curious to explore what Jamie thinks and feels a little more.

"You never know," Jamie says, one side of his mouth lifting in a grin. "Why not? I'd want to polish it up first, but..."

And in the back of his head is the voice saying, Hey, maybe you should tell Cathy first, because God knows Cathy will kill him if she finds out some other woman knew about the book deal before she did, but the voice is tiny and faint and easily shoved aside. He's excited. He has a fucking right to be happy about this. He worked hard to get to be happy about this. He deserves it.

"Actually, I'm publishing a different book. It just got picked up."

"Really?" Raven asks, genuinely pleased for Jamie. She knows that it takes a hell of a lot of work to get anything published, the fact that it's Jamie's second is even more impressive. "Wow. Congratulations! When will I be able to buy it?"

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